More Easter Thoughts:

This Easter has been different. Normally we have everyone who wants to come over and who doesn’t have anywhere else to go come to our house for Easter supper. It seems as there has been a shift in our house. There has been so many changes over the last year with the dynamites in this house with yet another one of our kids moving out. Our oldest daughter Stephanie hasn’t be...en home for Easter for awhile now and our daughter Shannon is celebrating Easter on her own as a married woman. As I was gathering the goodies to put in the Easter baskets it was a little sad for me. I am down to four from six baskets to fill. I know that children are meant to grow up and leave the home to make a life of their own, but that doesn’t make it easy. All my kids came to church with me this morning except for my daughter Stephanie who lives in MO. I am sure she would have been there too if she could have come. As I sat there listening to the Easter message of hope I glanced down the row with pride. My heart was filled with joy to know that as a mom along with my husband had taught our children about God. They know the true meaning of Easter. I found comfort knowing that because each of them have accepted Christ as their personal Savior I know that they truly belong to God and that no matter where they are He is with them as well. Last night I was up filling the baskets with little trinkets of goodies and small gifts. I always love seeing my children's faces when they dig through them in the morning. However, the joy they have on their faces as they look through the special little gifts is nothing like their faces were when the received the ultimate gift of God’s love. Next week is Baptism Sunday and our youngest wants to get baptized. At the age of six she was baptized on her birthday as a gift to God, but she wants to get baptized now because she understands so much more than she did. We will honor her wish and we look forward to seeing her proclaim her love for Christ to everyone who is there.

It is amazing where my mind goes when it is quite, which at my house there is only quite at night when everyone is asleep. All the kids are with my parents. They wanted to take them to the movies. Our house is usually full of at least 30 people or so on Easter. We have had people stay until all hours of the night. A big part of me misses this house being so full of friends, family, laughter and tears to celebrate the resurrection of our Lord, but this year I needed a break. We went to church and met my parents for lunch. My dad was having a hard time as he showed me a picture of me and my older brother Michael at my daughter Shannon’s wedding. When he showed it to me he said that this picture always makes him sad and then he asked me who was missing. I said Matthew my younger brother and my dad’s eyes filled with tears. Since he passed away almost 4yrs ago it is still fresh in all of our hearts. Holidays are never the same when you lose someone you love. Sitting here I remember Matthew was the one who would cut the ham and taste test it, wrestle around with the kids and who found the most interesting places to hide the eggs. One year we had one shoot out of our tail pipe of our van and about a month after one Easter we were smelling something stinky and we looked everywhere only to find a rotten egg hidden deep in the sofa. I sure do miss him, but he is celebrating yet another Easter with the one in whom we all celebrate the reason behind Easter in person.

It’s true I have had a hard time getting into the spirit of Easter. I have been sad that my kids are growing up and leaving the house and I have been consumed with money and having enough of it to give my kids Easter gifts. Easter isn’t about the Easter bunny, fancy dresses or Easter traditions. Easter is about love, family, friends, and most of all HOPE! We all have hope because the fact that Christ died and rose again!! Did you here that He rose again!!! He lives, yes Jesus lives!! I may have not opened our home to those who had nowhere to celebrate Easter this year, but I still want to tell others about HOPE and about a Savior that loves them. I am sorry to those who should have been here to celebrate with us, but my heart was heavy this year and I forgot about why we celebrate it to begin with. Take time today and remember that Jesus loved and loves you so much that He died on the cross so we can be forgiven for our sins. Remember that if you put you trust in Him and accept the free gift of eternal life we will be with Him always. Remember the HOPE that is ours to take because He rose again three days after He sacrificed His life for ours so we can be with Him always!! I am sorry I let this world get to me to the point of cancelling Easter here at our home, but I am here blessed still knowing that God loves me. He loves you too!! He cares for you!! And you are not alone!! I pray that you have a blessed Easter Sunday knowing these things.

The Temper Tantrum

 

I haven’t written anything in a while.  I have been sorting out so many things in my life and trying to make sense of a lot of it.  I have been going through a very fast and trying time in my life.  I have faced many trials in such a short time.  Life keeps throwing me so many curve balls that I haven’t been able to keep up.   This morning Sarah who is my youngest and is nine had a rough morning.  There has been an illness running through my home and my daughter Sydney was sick through the night and woke up with a fever.  J.J. my one and only son was sick last week and through the weekend had a late start today so I let everyone sleep in.  I was very tired after spending a long night taking care of Sydney.  I decided to take Sarah to school after I took J.J. to school, so she would be late.  This didn’t sit well with Sarah. She thought that it was unfair that she had to go to school when Sydney didn’t.  I explained that Sydney is sick and has a fever. Sarah stated that she didn’t feel good either.  I checked and she didn’t have a temp so I told her that she had to go to school and that she couldn’t miss any more school.  She has had a rough year with getting sick and has been having heart issues.  She completely lost it and started yelling and screaming about how unfair I was and that she hated me and everyone else in the house, especially me.  She said that she hated it here and that she wanted to live somewhere else. She keep saying she wanted a new home.  Nothing I said calmed her down so I got up and opened to door and told her to go. I told if she really doesn’t like it here than go ahead and find a new home.  I felt so small as I held that door and said those words.  Of course she didn’t go, she just told me to shut up.  I then told her to stand in the corner and again she told me to shut up. I walked over and gave her a swat on the butt and told her that she could not talk to me like that.  I told her to get her shoes on and that we needed to take J.J. to school. Screaming and crying she got her shoes on.  I sat on the coach and prayed for wisdom and that she would calm down.  I was getting upset and I didn’t want to say something to her I would regret.  A few minutes passed and she stop screaming and crying.  I told her to come over and talk about what just happened.  She came over I opened my arms and she gave me a hug and said that she was sorry.  I told her that I love her and that this would always be her home.  I explained why she had to go to school and that she missed too much school already.  I told her that I was trying to do what I thought was best for her and I was not trying to mean.  We sat on the couch with me holding her for a few more minutes until it was time to go.  When my mom used to say “this hurts me more than it hurts you” I thought yeah right, but being a mom I now understand that it does hurt.  I don’t like seeing my kids hurt or upset in any way.  However, as a parent doing the right thing sometimes hurts their feelings and they don’t get their way all the time.  When I saw her so upset this morning and when I had to give her a spanking it hurt my heart.   As I was sitting here processing this morning I was reminded how it must hurt God’s heart to have to correct us, to watch us become upset, and to hear the hurtful things that come out of our mouths towards him and others.  This hit me hard.  God’s love abounds greatly for us.  He truly loves us and wants what is best for us.  We may not like it but when all is said and done His way is always the best.  In Jeremiah 29:11 He says that He has plans for us, plans to prosper us and not harm us.  As a parent we do the same for our kids.  They may not see us sending them to school when they don’t want to go as something good, but we know that their education is important.  We see a bigger picture. If I have to be honest I would have to say when my daughter told me that she hates me this morning, I have told God the same thing.  I told Him this when my brother died almost 4yrs ago.  Since then I have told Him that I was angry at Him.  After telling Him those things what do you think He did?  He opened His arms and said that He loved me any way.  I will never be the prefect parent but I am so glad that we have a Heavenly Father who is.

“Dear Father, help me be a better parent and to love my children with a heart like yours.  I thank you for loving me even when at times I don’t deserve it, make bad choices and say hurtful things. Please help me understand the deepest of Your love more in my everyday life.  Thank you for all You do for me and for knowing what is best.”

Are you a Looky Loo?

I just finished watching two videos. One was about a young man texting and driving that hit three women and them struggling to live.  I don’t know what happened to them or the young man who hit them.  The other video was of a young man making quilts for preemies to pay it pay it forward. He was a preemie himself.  This young man also lost his mother to cancer years later. My heart broke watching these videos.  Such loss and on the other hand hope.  These videos made me start thinking about how fragile life is.  Over the past week I have read many post of those who lost loved ones.  I too know all too well how it feels to lose someone you love.  It doesn’t matter how old they were or how they died, it hurts.   Life is never the same is it? 

The difference is what we do after we lose someone we love. I believe in passing it forward, living a life that our loved ones would be proud of.  Nothing we can do to bring them back, but what a wonderful way to keep their memory alive by making a difference in someone else’s life. We only get one chance in this life so why not live in a way that would make a difference?  Life is hard and people are hurting.  I know that I am guilty of getting so caught up in my own troubles that I sometimes don’t even think of others.  Life is too short to just live and just get by.  I would rather make life better for someone else.  I know there have been many of times where someone stepped out of their own life to be there for me.

We were not meant to go through this life alone or to keep to ourselves.  If everyone would just step out of their comfort zone and maybe notice someone else just think how better life would be. While watching the video of the three young ladies who were hit the driver texting broke my heart.  People were standing around watching and many of them took out their cell phones and were taking pictures. The emergency workers had to walk around them to try to help these young women.  There was even one lady who walked up to one of the young ladies to take a close up picture of her face.  How dare her!! There were a few who stepped up and helped.  One man held the oxygen on one of the lady’s face, another gently stroked another one of them trying to keep her calm as she came to.  Most of them however treated like it was a photo shoot.  That made me sick.  How sad that there can be people who find joy in someone else’s pain.

It did make me happy that there were some who stepped out of themselves and helped.  I would like to believe I would have done something to help, even if was it was to keep the looky loos away. If we don’t stand up for those who need it than who will?  Sorry I don’t mean to get on my high horse, but I am tired of people just standing by.  Life is not just about ourselves, but about making a difference in someone else’s life.  Don’t get me wrong there or times where we can’t do anything to help and need to stay out of the way.  Even in those moments we can have respect for those hurting.

On the other hand I was touched watching the video of a young man who suffered much loss by losing his mother at such a young age who wanted to help others.  He wanted to give back.  He was given a quilt when he was released from the hospital after being in one for 4months fighting for his life after being born at 22wks.  He made quilts for other preemies to comfort them and their families.  How better equiped are we to give comfort or support to someone else when we have lived through the same thing they are going through?  

My point through all of this is to encourage you to make a difference.  Step out of your own world and give someone the gift of hope, comfort and love.  Remember God comforted us so we can comfort others.

A Man of Influence

 

A man of influence is what I want to be.

What is it others see in me?

I am a Father, a son, a co-worker, a husband.

Dear God how can I follow your commands?

I have so many roles to play.

I try to listen to You and obey.

I ask myself, who am I?

It seems like no matter how hard I try,

I just get by.

What kind of influence do I want to be?

Is it one that glorifies God or me?

God let me know how I should act.

Let me make a difference and a positive impact.

I have so many things to do.

Am I truly living for You?

I am pulled in so many directions.

Dear God I need your protection.

What is it You want me to do?

I know that I want to live my life for You.

I get so busy trying to get all these worldly things done,

I forget where I come from.

I am a son of God and of royal birth.

I have a purpose here on earth.

Please God show me what you want be to be, so I can truly live.

I have so much to give.

Make me a man, who can stand strong,

So others know that in your love they belong.

Give me the words You want me to say, so that they too will listen to You and obey.

God show me what to do, so others will get to know you.

Let others see the Jesus in me so that they can also believe.

God I want to live for You.

I want others to know that my intensions are true.

Lead me and guide me in all I do.

God with Your help a man of influence is what I will be.

 And yes others will see the Jesus in me.

 

 By: Trish Iiams

 

 As iron sharpens iron,

So a man sharpens the countenance of his friend.

Proverbs 27:17

   I look at my son and I try to picture what he will be like when he becomes a man.  What kind of a husband and father will he be?  As a mother I can only show him so much. I can’t help but smile when I watch my sons’ eyes as he sees his father fix something around the house, works on the cars, or when they get ready to do something together as father and son.  My son’s eyes light up and a smile comes to his face when my husband say to him “come on son you can help me.’  My son is full of pride and accomplishment when he comes running in the house to tell me what they had done.  As my husband strives to be closer to God I see how much it affects our home.  Not only does my son try to follow in his fathers footsteps, but I see our girls wanting to do the same. My heart over flows with joy to see our family together as my husband leads the family in prayer and bible study.

     I can remember a time when my husband was not following God.  It was all about him and what the world had to offer him.  Our family was in ruins.  I had lost hope for our marriage and our family.  I prayed and prayed for God to change him and to give me strength to stay married to him.  Let’s just say God is faithful.  God never gave up on him or our family.  God worked on my husband’s heart and one day he broke and gave everything to God.  Over a process of time he has become a man that I am proud to be married to.  He has turned his life around.  Our marriage and family are now stronger because of it.

     Not only are men responsible for showing Christ to their family, but to other men as well.  My husband is part of a Men’s accountability group where the men keep one another accountable, gives one another support, and study the Bible together.  It is always comforting to know that my husband can turn to another brother to help support him and to give him direction when he makes a wrong choice.  They are there to praise one another for a job well done, grieve, and help one another up when they fall.

I have been honored to see these men come together and watch them grow into men of God.  To see families grow closer as these men’s relationship with God grow.

 

"Dear God my prayer is for men, fathers, husbands, sons, and brothers everywhere will grow to be more like You.  Please let them know who they are in You and to be an example to their families, friends, and other men.  Show them they are loved and keep them strong.  Guide them and show them their purpose."

A Woman of Influence

 

A woman of influence is what I want to be.

What is it others see in me?

I am a mother, a daughter, a co-worker, a wife.

How is it I should live my life?

I have so many roles to play.

I try to listen to God and obey.

I ask myself, who am I?

It seems like no matter how hard I try,

I just get by.

What kind of influence do I want to be?

Is it one that glorifies God or me?

God let me know how I should act.

Let me make a difference and a positive impact.

I have so many things to do.

Am I truly living for you?

I am pulled in so many directions.

Dear God I need your protection.

What is it You want me to do?

I know that I want to live my life for You.

I get so busy trying to get all these worldly things done,

I forget where I come from.

I am a daughter of God and of royal birth.

I have a purpose here on this earth.

Please God show me what you want be to be, so I can truly live.

I have so much to give.

Make me a woman, who can stand strong,

So others know that in Your love they too belong.

Give me the words You want me to say, so that they too will listen to You and obey.

God show me what to do so others will get to know you.

Let others see the Jesus in me so that they can to believe.

God I want to live for You.

I want others to know that my intensions are true.

Lead me and guide me in all I do.

God with Your help a woman of influence is what I will be.

 And yes others will see the Jesus in me.

 

 By: Trish Iiams

 

    As a mother I pray that I will be able to teach my children and to show them the right things.  I try to imagine what my girls will be like when they grow up.  What kind of women, wives, and mothers will they be? What kind of impression will I leave on them?  Will I show them Gods love?  What kind of a man will my girls marry?  I believe the most important thing I can do for my children and family is to work on my personal relationship with God.  The closer and stronger my relationship with God is will reflect on my relationship with them.  I want to able to show my girls how to stay strong in Christ, to be loving and respectful to their husbands.  I want to show them how to be a woman of integrity, to be humble in adversity, and how to be loving and kind to others.  I can’t do this by myself.  I need God to show me how.  I am fortunate to have other women in my life that can help me, show me, and to direct me in the right things to do. 

     Not only is it my responsibility to show my children the love of God but I need to show other women as well.  I have been in many women bibles studies, mom groups, and a women’s accountability group.  Every time we met I had to face those ladies and come face to face with choices that I had made and decision I made.  The ladies offered me support and were there to praise me when I have done right by God. They were also there to correct, support, and lead me when I struggled.  By us being there for one another we grew closer in our walk with God.

     God has put different people through out my life where I had to support, be an example to, and lift up.  I have been through many trails in my life and by using the lessons I have learned I have been able to help them when they have faced a similar circumstance. 

 When my children are grown I pray that I have been a positive and loving influence.  I pray that I have been a woman of influence that has shown the love of God to others.  I pray that I have lived a life so that others can see God in me.  When my time here on earth is over I hope that that I was a woman of positive influence.  A woman that everyone I met knew I loved God.  Until the day I meet God I will strive to be a woman of Godly influence that is an example to others especially my children.

“My Dear Father in heaven I pray that when others see me they will see a woman that stands and lives for You.  I pray that my life will point others to You.  I pray that I will be the kind of mother that will show my children love, honor, and a testimony of Your love.  I struggle with this and I pray that you give me whatever it takes to live for you and to be a Godly example to my children and all I meet.

 

 

 

For the Good of Those Who Love Him

I am sorry that I haven’t written anything in a few days, but I have been facing a personal trail and I have been distracted with trying to figure things out.  I had a very hard decision to make and it hurt a lot to make it.  I had to sacrifice what I wanted for what was right.  My heart is sad but I have peace.  While I was going through the heart of this trial I felt distance from God not because He left but I shut Him out. I knew in my heart what was right, but I wanted to be in control.  I was focused on me and not the truth.  He never left my side, but was there gently loving me and whispering truth in my ears. Last night when I made the decision to do the right thing I was nervous about actually having to do it.  This morning when I put my faith in action and saw the result the scripture Romans 8:28 came to my mind, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

God has a purpose for me and as funny as it sounds needs me to carry out His plan.  Maybe needs is the wrong word but He chose me to His will.  He created me and made me who I am to make a difference.  He has given me the gifts I have and my heart to do a specific job to further His kingdom. The heart that He created was made to reach certain people. The things I have been through in my life good and bad made it so I can relate to those who have, are going through, or will be going through the various things I have.  Who better to understand than someone who has gone through the same things that they have.

In this life we will be faced with many choices and many of them will be difficult to make, but if we trust in God we can count on that we will make the best decision.  I do have to admit that there is a little mourning of the loss of what I wanted but I have joy knowing that I made the right decision.  Now that I have made the right choice I will have to stay focused so I don’t get distracted again.  I am thankful to know when push comes to shove I know that God is there with me know matter what and if I put my focus on Him I can face any trial and know that I will ultimately make the right decision.

“Dear Father, thank you for loving me and never leaving me even though I tried to walk away even for a little bit.  Help me stay strong and keep my focus on you and not the lies of the world.”

 

 

Missing My Brother

 

A few years ago my younger brother Matthew passed away and when he died I was so angry.  Out of my anger I turned off all music.  I’m not sure how long it was off, but I am thinking about a month or so.  I didn’t want to feel and to honest I really didn’t want to praise God at that moment.  It wasn’t until one morning I was driving my kids to school and they begged me to turn the radio on and to turn it to Klove. Reluctantly I turned it on.  The song Amazing Grace my Chains are Gone, by Chris Tomlin was playing.   This was the song that my kids and a friend of mine sang at Matthew’s funeral.  This hit me hard and of course the tears started flowing. My kids begged me to keep it on so I did.  Something happened to my heart when that song played.  It was softened and healing started to take place.  I felt God presence and His love overflow.  I dropped the kids off at school and on my drive home I turned the radio up and sang at the top of my lungs praising God.  It was hard to keep my hands on the wheel.  All I wanted to do was raise my hands up to God and praise Him with my all.  I don’t remember the other songs that played I just remember seeing a few people glance my way I guess to see what the crazy lady was doing, but I didn’t care.  The entire world faded away and before I knew it I was home.  I stayed in my van sitting in the driveway for who knows how long singing my heart out to God.  I finally went in the house and my heart was filled with peace and joy.  I hadn’t felt that for weeks. This August will be 4yrs since I lost my friend, my little brother. My heart is still sad because I miss him more than words can say, but I still have peace and joy in my heart.  I don’t think there will ever be a day where my heart will ever stop missing him and that I wish he was still here.  I don’t think anyone ever really gets over the loss of a loved one they just learn to live their life without them.  The tears have slowed but they are still there and at times seem brand new. For the rest of my life I will have a hole in my heart and will never be the same, but I am so thankful that I was blessed to have Matthew as my younger brother.  I will carry him in my heart and live my life in a way that would make him proud.  I know that he wouldn’t want me to dwell on his loss but live a life that would honor God.  He was one of the most giving person that I knew.  He truly cared for others more than himself.  He believed in always passing it forward and making everyone he met a little bit better off than they were before.  He changed lives for the better.  He is truly missed and always loved.