As sit here alone this morning as the kids are still in bed my heart feels calm. The last several months I have been planning for a Christian retreat called Koinonia that we just had over this past weekend. I was so nervous all the way until the time we said goodbye. I struggled with thoughts that I had to do everything right, what were people going to think about me and that I am not worthy. I have been to these retreats many times and each and every time God moved. For some reason I thought that I would be in the way of God moving because of my nerves. Speaking in front of people always has been hard for me and leading is another out of the box thing for me. I have lead Girls retreats before and they were hard for me as well, but God always showed up. In the back of my mind I knew that He would this time as well.
Friday started off bumpy as I fought a battle in my mind. It wasn’t until I said that this isn’t about me but about God did I feel a shift in the atmosphere. I don’t know about others but I thought that this was one of the most power God lead weekends I have ever been on. He showed up in a mighty way despite me. Thank you God!! He definitely had me doing things out of the box and I had such a wonderful team that didn’t care what their assigned task were, but everyone helped everyone. They didn’t question the changes or the last minute additions, they just served. Oh how that blessed my heart.
God is amazing and when we get out of our own way He does more than anyone could ever imagine. Everywhere I turned I saw God at work changing lives. I watched hearts healed and miracles happen. It is so hard to find the right words to describe the things I witnessed. All I can say is that God is good. He used others to be the change for others. Each person there touched someone through their love for one another.
There were so many attacks on myself and the rest of the team prior to the weekend and on the weekend, but everyone armed themselves with the full armor of God and came out to battle. The prayer team was hit hard but others came along side and lifted them up. That just shows you just how powerful prayer is. The people of God came through in a mighty way and the battle was won.
The presence of God was so strong. Every person who talked you can tell were being the voice for God. The small groups united and support one another. Every team member did their job with joy even if it meant standing in the cold to be a light for someone else.
I wish I could express the thanks I have in my heart for all who came, but I can’t find the right words.
Even though I came home tired I felt rejuvenated and on fire to be the change, to be the light and a voice for God. I will continue to pray for everyone as I know that God is not done, but this is just the beginning.